i put a condom on this banana and i'm pretty sure it has kept for twice as long!
you can never be too safe.
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Things are often said in our house, by us and our guests, that are either hilarious when their context is unclear, or completely inappropriate no matter what the context is. We thought we would share them with you here. And no, under no circumstances will we tell you who said it or what it was referring to. You know better.
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2009
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October
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- so I'm watching the television at the gym, the ope...
- i'll wear your underwear.
- why the fuck are we putting our face in a cats mouth?
- when there's no nuts in nuts they're called nerts.
- there's no nuts in his nuts though
- your hands are on his nuts
- your hands are on his nuts
- if i say sugar buns one more time i'm going to hav...
- what does it mean that you want me to play with yo...
- i mean, what column would your vibrators go under?
- you need to stop thinking of me, in a broom closet...
- these bubbles don't go with my communist party.
- why doesn't my phone know how to spell pedophile?
- i put a condom on this banana and i'm pretty sure ...
- instead of hiding your crazy you are just like fun...
- so we can add to the list as long as at least two ...
- I am going to shit my pants
- so they're like what, having romance in the bathroom?
- oh my god, breanna, oh my god. get that knife out ...
- that does not smell as good as i think i was
- are you trying to make me feel your boobs?
- don't blow in my mouth anymore.
- do you want us to mack on each other?
- oh, you know what happens when i try to say breann...
- if I ever cry because of TMZ, don't tell anyone, ok?
- i just left the condom on while i ate the banana.
- well, that's not even alphabetized! (quieter voice...
- hey guess what?! i have BO, just on one side and i...
- you really hurt me with all that hitting
- "I don't know, but it's giving me pain in my abdom...
- you're a vagina, don't make me hit you.
- i'm licking my face cuz my butt's getting scratched!
- my face feels dumb
- are you brushing your eyebrows with the same tooth...
- are you okay?no because they have the most beautif...
- all the maxi pads and female condoms you're not su...
- THERE HAS BEEN A MUTANY ON THE SHIP!!!!
- goats have smaller fat cells than cows because the...
- i like you less when you put your bum hole on me.y...
- feel my running butt, it's fantastic!
- One more day! Hello... you...question mark!!!
- This is all lube on the (kitchen)counter, from whe...
- "I don't know if I want to have sex with him... or...
- "michellle why are you having talk about tips of t...
- wow, i'm squirting all over everything tonight!
- " your accent makes me hate you."
- " did you want some insides>?"
- well ya then jesus came along with his magic trick...
- "what? I'm a pillow biter" "and I did not want to ...
- when i put maxi pads in Jacks pants, he puts open ...
- Most lesbians I know need a good deep dicking ever...
- condoms don't usually stain, right?
- there are many stages in which a towel becomes unu...
- "what did the cat eat?""jack's cigarettes."
- why is your butt in the air dude? thats all i can see
- they're gonna find those Maxi Pads
- that's what you think of my ass, that I could just...
- you almost just swallowed the dog with your ass
- you look fatter. are you pregnant?
- i can't even touch my nipples today. i was in the ...
- sometimes when i'm bored i ask for directions in a...
- every time i make it come here...
- "are you kicking my cat?""no, i'm just redirecting...
- sniffing the sheets after
- insert hand twirl
- it's like having sex with a garbage bag hanging ou...
- if you like me, you'll eat it
- i'm emotionally unavailable right now.
- i guess her brain is in her pussy right now.
- did you get your brochure on abstinence? we highli...
- hey how bout you stop doing it with the fucking do...
- i especially enjoyed the grand finale; the female ...
- October 17th 2009
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October
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