Why are you looking down your pants in the middle of Denney's?

You remind me of someone Ive never met.

Can I have a banana?...I forgot to eat....self-care just went out the fucking window.

"i just got scared by the blanket"

"you mean the warm, cuddley thing?"

"Do you happen to know if I need first aid and/or CPR for the position as respite worker?"

"No, you don't. Just don't be
John Wayne Gacy."

"a-mazing."

It's really hard when your office is a sofa with your bff and babies and a fireplace

"did you take it all at once?"

"no, it's too much."

"you just need to let it get you salivating. your jaw just needs to loosen up a bit."

"how's ____ doing?"

"her roommate."

"what do you think i just asked you?"

"who's ____ doing?"

"not so much."

he just took the stinkiest shit. can you smell it? it smells like hamburgers.

i just sit there and fucking whip it for like twenty minutes.

the good get gooder.

look at how perfect his dumb balloon is. and look at how perfect his dying man is.

"i would totally do scott speedman even with his spare tire."

"i was totally thinking the same thing!"

"i had no idea that there was this tiny area in south america...."

(interrupting) "that speaks france?"

"no. that practices hinduism. did you just say 'that speaks france'?"

"yup."