"There's nothing more unattractive than a naked man galloping on a horse"

"I can think of something... a naked man on a horse, except for a t-shirt. Totally more unattractive."

"You're right, that's creepy."

i learned to run by chasing jen around!

i care about sex so little that i forget to masterbate.

you can't put that in the dryer with bullets in it!