"Jewasian"

"What's that?"

"A Jewish Asian. Or Jewsion, you know, like "fusion"?"

"it's a Jewish choir"

"oh, that's why there's no Asian kids... oh no! Wait, there's one!"

"what's that smell?"

"it's my socks burning." (said while leaning against fireplace)

"oh my god, it is your socks burning!"

"aww, look at her, sitting on her Binky..."

"what did you just call it?!"

"her BINKY."

(no response)

"shut up."

(after being interrupted by the cat doing something that he shouldn't)

As I was saying.... "If you change your mind, I'm the first in line, honey I'm still free, take a chance on me"

-this continues through 2 chorus's and another verse.

"Are you just fucking with me right now?!"

"No."

"ARE YOU RETARDED?!"

Babe he cant breathe...

He can breathe.

What just happened?

I just dropped my soap in the toilet, that we all pee-ed in, reached in, pulled it out, and rinsed it off.

I would have done the same thing.

Im gunna go wash my face.

I saw him in the last few years and thought, "how are you not dead yet?!" he's got to be at least 90, now.

if you're going to make me stand here, I'm going to put all my effort into your genitals

I had to paint 80 year old penis and testicles